HEY guys,

Well yeah i am away at college, yeah i am meeting new people and yes i am growing up! But i no longer have the biggest part of me with me anymore.  Ted and i broke up for good.  We have had amazing times but i guess what we had was all that was ment for us, nothing more.  Its sucks so much let me tell you. All it has been is every night staying in crying but i can love him with everything i have but we dont have anything if he does not love me anymore.  SoOooO as for that i am commin home for christmas new years and what was supposed to be our year annaversary alone and single. It sucks and i dont know what i am gonaa do but i need all the help of my friends to get me through this.  No guy can replace ted in my heart.  But i dunno~ I need help, i am not doing well at all with this. But i guess times change and feelings do as well.  And for everyone who wanted this day to come i hope your happy. Ted and finally broke up~! So i wont be in ur way anymore. Give me a call over break, Its gonna be the worst christmas break of my life! I need my friends help more than ever!  

Well it is my moms birthday!!! I hung out with the rents all day and had an amazing time. I love them.  I could not help it, about every hour i just walk into my room and cry for a lil. It is so hard. I have messed up big time. I was mean and i let the one thing i only truly care about walk out of my life. The tears run down my face and i just can not stop them. I cant eat, i just feel sick about knowing he is not going to be in my life anymore. I sit by the phone all day and wait for him to call. But he does not, and it kills me. All i want is to hear his voice. He tells me to stop crying but i cant. I try, But i just cant. From sitting in class and him hitting on me with the stupidest lines to make me laugh to just the first night we kissed. From that day on to yesterday i was that happiest girl just knowing i was his girlfriend. But i guess sometimes you are just not the right fit. And it is so hard. I love him so much! Who is gonna drive with me to collegeto say goodbye ? Who am i gonna come home to? alot of changes! i dont know what i will do with out him...He is my everything

Well home from cancun and back to softball.  i am in Virginia this weekend for a tournament, fun!yeah but i miss ted already. i dont know what i am going to do when i go away to college. as everyone knows ted and i fight more than any other couple, but in the end we do love eachother and always manage to make things work. the past couple days ted and i have spent everday second together.   We have had an amazing time!!! the stupid things we do for eachother that keeps us together.  he is the best thing to ever happen to me. everytime i begin to think about going away to school i cry. the thought of leaving him kills me. for the first time in my life i feel like i met the person who just feels right to be with.I look into his eyes and just cannot help but smile.his smile i just fall in love with.  all i can say is i am going to do everything possible to keep us together.  he is the best thing to ever to happen to me. I love you Ted! I miss you.